Satan's Spawn

Wow East, if we had had a child when we met (in vitro of course)(you wouldn't even be in the same room as me)(or the same state), we'd have a 7-year-old child by now! I mean, sure the child would be a complete abomination that neither heaven nor hell would suffer, whose very DNA would have been fused together in the swamps of Mordor to form some serpentine, slithering miscreation of a being whose first breath would be drawn to utter a cry against the powers that be that, a cry that would echo forever in the ears of his (or her) creator, someone so depraved -- so treacherous of the very laws governing nature -- as to give life to such a grace-stricken hellhound as our (in vitro)(from afar) baby.

Well, that would only be your side of the DNA, actually. The other half would be angelic. :)

7 Year Itch

Ever get the feeling that you're sleeping, but a little awake? That's work, for me. I do a little spreadsheet, push a little paper, then I get down tonight. Get down tonight.

There have been times where I've been frustrated with work, either because of the red tape bullshit, lack of enforced labor laws, menial pay, or because I just *didn't* want to work on the budget any-frickin-more, but this exceeds all that, in a strange anticlimactic way.

I'm just bored.

I'm bored and I'm getting old, and I get the feeling that it's time to trade my job for a career, you know, like what grown-ups have. Elaine is going off to grad school, with Monnette not far behind her. East is thinking of peddling his skillz elsewhere. Everyone is leaving except for me. I'm like that loser who got drunk at a party, passed out, and woke up to the sound of the floor polisher as the cleaning crew entered.

Palm Springs, baby.

Trash Volcano: Explained

For those of you who are fortunate enough not to know the origin of "Trash Volcano," it was an idea that was "founded" by me in an attempt to solve the world's trash problem. The key points are outlined as followed:

1) Put trash in volcano
2) Revel in keen sense of self-satisfaction as you watch trash burn up into nothing
3) Repeat

Later, East explained how there'd be all these other uh ... environmental repercussions ... caused by the Trash Volcano. Eventually, it got filed away in my archive of "ideas that were too good to actually work," which East consequently renamed "Mimi's pile of stupid ideas." It has set the precendent, however, for a slew of other good/stupid ideas that I've concocted, including the "body pocket, freeze-dried fetuses, and throwing trash onto the sun."

Let the games begin!

Blog Redux

Second verse, same as the first,
Little bit louder and a little bit worse.

Sooooo, where were we?