You lick Balls

'nuff said.

Domesticity

All this cohabitation junk has made us docile. Just lay down and die, why don't you?

I bet you don't even look at this

East, you lick balls.

Boogers

a1ien: do boogers have a smell, u think
fatherwind: i would think so.
fatherwind: i would think all things had a smell.
a1ien: u really think ALL things have a smell
a1ien: do u think water has a smell
fatherwind: water has a smell.
a1ien: it does?
fatherwind: metal may not.
a1ien: i don't think water has a smell
fatherwind: however, anything that gives off atoms/molecules probably has a smell.
a1ien: i don't think water does
a1ien: i want a candy bar

Jolt

a1ienhead : i got a good idea
a1ienhead : how about a JOLT button in the fucking vending machine
a1ienhead : for when shit gets stuck
a1ienhead : like my candy bar just did
east: lol.
east: that is a good idea.
a1ienhead : think so!
east: or a bar that moves up and down.
a1ienhead : yeah!
a1ienhead : or how about
a1ienhead : when u put your money in and make a selection
a1ienhead : the candy is EJECTED from its slot
a1ienhead : like launched projectile style
a1ienhead : another great idea for the blog

An *actual* conversation

[Lunchtime at Subway with East. East and Mimi are standing in line surveying the menu.]

mimi: I wish there was a sandwich that was between the 6 inch and 12 inch.
east: What, 6 inches isn't enough for you?
[mimi stares blankly at east and then snickers]

Now that was just too easy.

Over the shoulder pebble holder

Am I alone when I say that I don't like wearing a bra? I mean, it's not just the whole "ouch, this underwire is digging into me" kind of dislike, but also a "society deems that I'm some kind of tree huggin' hippie or wanton whore if I show my nipples -- and also, feel free to leer at them if you have a penis."

Who am I kidding? I don't NEED the support. The support is thrust upon me! Once, I didn't wear a real bra for a while, but I noticed that this guy at work kept looking at my boobs instead of at my face when he talked to me. This confused me, because it's not even like I have boobs, which made me think that he was searching for them. Kind of like "Well, I see the nipples, the boobs must be around there, somewhere... let me just look around some more..."

Any chance this whole bra thing is a really long fad?

Satan's Spawn

Wow East, if we had had a child when we met (in vitro of course)(you wouldn't even be in the same room as me)(or the same state), we'd have a 7-year-old child by now! I mean, sure the child would be a complete abomination that neither heaven nor hell would suffer, whose very DNA would have been fused together in the swamps of Mordor to form some serpentine, slithering miscreation of a being whose first breath would be drawn to utter a cry against the powers that be that, a cry that would echo forever in the ears of his (or her) creator, someone so depraved -- so treacherous of the very laws governing nature -- as to give life to such a grace-stricken hellhound as our (in vitro)(from afar) baby.

Well, that would only be your side of the DNA, actually. The other half would be angelic. :)